Starting life together as a couple can be very exciting. However, there are many new changes to get used to, and a lot of challenges to face together, especially during the first year.You have to think about a new home, insurance, maintaining good communication, using the family lawyers Essendon residents prefer for any legal aspects of your new life, and many tiny details that will affect you as a couple.
Interpersonal Issues
Firstly, know that there are many interpersonal issues to handle on a continual basis. How you communicate and work through these difficulties is key to the survival of your marriage. Premarital counselling can teach you a lot about communication, and how you have to work at it, communicating in a way that will make your partner feel loved, accepted and valued.
You have to work out how to negotiate with each other, how to work through an argument and win the relationship, instead of a fight. How to resolve and work through conflict is essential. Learn how to fight fair, with compassion, and when to let go or keep silent.
Just remember that many conflicts in life are not resolved, so learn to not keep grievances.
Time
You need to determine how much time you wish to spend together and commit to it. One of you may want to be in contact all the time while the other still enjoys independence or alone-time every now and then. Compromise to find a balance that suit both—the respect you show each other will be vital for further engagement.
You’ll also need to schedule together time, or time for intimacy, as this can get crowded out by life’s happenings.
Chores
Here’s one of the most contentious issues in any home. Whether you do chores together or share them is something you will have to decide on instead of assuming what the other one will do. Factors that could play a role include whether one person is working full time while the other only works half day. Have a discussion and decide on a chore chart, so no one feels taken advantage of.
Money
This is the area that couples fight the most over. Make sure you set a budget together, and have a little free money for each of you to spend as you wish, or to save. Include investments in your budget, as well as all the possible expenses of your life together. Think current, future and even emergency funds for possible disasters.
Some suggestions:
- You might start putting away for your daughter’s wedding as soon as she’s born.
- Start scrimping in order to save for your first house.
- Put away some savings that you can draw on in an emergency, such as fire, floods, or sudden loss of a job.
- Think not only of daily expenses, but items such as repairs, insurance, lawyers, hospital fees and holidays.
Lawyers
Remember to get a lawyer you can rely on. You may need one for your business or for your house purchase. Some people go so far as to consult thedivorce lawyers Essendon localsrecommend, in order to know how to prevent divorce. May you never need one for an actual divorce! You may also require one for lawsuits, or adoption should you choose to go that route. Often, it’s best to pay a retainer rather than an upfront expense on the day you need such a professional.
Children
It’s highly advisable to discuss the question of children long before you get married. However, you may change your mind as you continue life together. Some don’t believe in restricting the number of children you have. Others want to make sure that birth control measures are in place so that they have fewer or no children.
You may be one of those who wish to offer orphans an adoptive home, but if either one of you is hesitant, don’t go ahead with it. Both have tobe on board for such a challenging journey, as it comes with many emotional, financial and relationship challenges.
Work
Who works more and where is often a contentious issue. Your partner may get a job in a different city, and as a couple you have to then negotiate whether to take the opportunity and move, or whether commuting will work.
How many hours each person works and how you negotiate chores and caretaking responsibilities are all crucial topics to discuss.
Plan for Death
It may seem strange to plan for death at the early stages of marriage, but unless you do, you will be left stranded should anything unforeseen happen. Many a young widow or widower is left emotionally, financially and socially without support after the death of their spouse, so plan ahead.
Conclusion
You have an opportunity to build the foundations for a great marriage. It’s not impossible to truly love someone for a lifetime. Yes, it takes hard work, compassion and understanding, but it’s worth the effort in the long run.